Here’s how it works. When these guys roll into town to set up their individual booths, they need power for the fifteen or twenty million lights they’ll string all around them. Up North, similar set-ups would normally involve the use of portable generators. Down South they very often involve the use of the MNEC.
From their booths the guys will run two long electrical wires with the insulation stripped from the ends and bent back to form hooks.
When they’re ready to hook up the power they take each wire individually and, using a long wooden pole, raise the wire and look for the nearest overhead power line. Each wire hangs from a different line and if the installer manages to avoid a public electrocution, the lights begin to glow. If this maneuver is performed incorrectly someone usually gets the corpse out of the street so the rest of the guys can get on about their business.
Most of the craftsmen who require electricity to complete a job at your house will use the MNEC or a variation. Sometimes they’ll just plug directly into your wall sockets with bare wires, or hook up to the meter box the same way. The squeamish or sensitive should not watch.
If you’re bringing a computer (or some other piece of expensive electronic gear) get the best Uninterruptable Power Supply (UPS) you can find, preferably one that will allow you thirty minutes to shut down after a power loss so that you don’t damage your equipment. You can get them here but the choices are limited and it may take a few days to get one ordered. This is an item you might consider buying before you come down. Will you really need it? Oh yes! Definitely!
And once you’re in your new home hire an electrician to come out and install at least one grounded receptacle where you’ll use your computer. In budget rentals nearly all the plugs will be two-pronged. While he’s there have him test your circuits too. It’s a smart idea to use a surge protector and power regulator for your microwave and for your TV and stereo. You can find suitable ones here that will be just fine for those appliances.
Chapter 12: Household Help Author's Site
Now that you’ve found a home, stocked it, and figured out how to find your groceries, other things will begin to creep into your consciousness like, “Should I hire a maid?” I can imagine several scenarios that might justify such a move.
·
You’ve managed to find a huge filthy old casa at a ridiculously
low cost.
· You and your spouse have both been rejuvenated by the fresh
Mexican air and you spend massive blocks of time making love both
day and night.
· You drink yourself into a stupor by noon each day.
· You’re as lazy as a Missouri mountaineer.
· You want to impress the folks back home.
· You have way too much money.
· You can’t stand to clean the litter box.
· You’ve gone temporarily insane.
Do what you want, but keep a few facts in mind. First and foremost, a full-time employee has many more rights in Mexico than you might imagine. As an employer you have at least as many responsibilities, if not more, than you would in the U.S. or Canada. For instance, there’s a Mexican minimum wage here. There are also seven holidays each year when you are required to pay your employees for taking the day off.
Chapter 15: How Much is That Perrito in the Window? Author's Site
Other than your future bride Esmeralda, or Savage Jake the Stalker, are there animals in your life? If so, do you plan to bring them SoB?
Fido Needs Papers, Too
Here we go then. Call the veterinarian and ask if he or she has a blank U.S. Interstate and International Certificate of Health. If so, arrange to take Fluffy or Jacque’s Golden Queen Canadien in to get a check-up and clearance just before you leave town, headed South. Theoretically this paper must be issued within 72 hours of the time you reach the border. I’ve been unable to find anyone who admits to having been asked for it, but never anticipate variations from the written word.
You’re also supposed to have a pet vaccination certificate showing that Ginger and Snuffy have been inoculated against rabies, hepatitis, pip and leptospirosis.
The long festering scratches on your face and arms will not prove to the Customs officials that the animals were actually inoculated. As a matter of fact they may cause you problems when trying to cross the border. Some Aduana officials might feel that anyone crazy enough to try to restrain a cat while someone else pokes it with a needle is way too unstable to be let loose in Mexico.
The law says you’re supposed to have proof of these inoculations. Once again, I recommend erring on the side of caution, and using a vet who has a sack to stick the cat in during torture.
Veterinarian Services
Plenty of medical services are available. I’ve had animals spayed and neutered and have had friends who have taken both dogs and cats in for dental work. I personally know three dogs that have received chemotherapy here and many other surgeries are routinely performed. Pirata had one eye surgically removed after it had been displaced and damaged. One friend had a carcinoma cut from her Whippet.
If you and your vet speak a common language ask if he is a large animal doctor or a small animal specialist. It can make a difference. All the standard medications are available and be sure to understand the dosage instructions if Stumpy needs a round of pills. My critters are all Nationals and get their vaccinations locally. Sometimes I’ll even ask the vet to give me one too. Hey, hepatitis is hepatitis.
Critter Chow
As far as food is concerned, it all depends on where you live. In various places you’ll find Iams, Science Diet, Waltham (Whiskas and Pedigree), Alpo, Purina, Diamond and Hagen, as well as several other Mexican brands. And there are plenty of carnicerias. Higado is liver. Hueso means bone. You can also further explain yourself if you’re paranoid. Say, “Para mis perros”, if you suspect the butcher thinks you’re really going to use them for dinner, which I’ve done. Some butchers will strip that bone cleaner than a surgeon’s fingers, but others will leave enough to feed three dinner guests. Just don’t brag about the low cost of the main dish. If you do ask for dog bones and the carnicero barks, smiles, and goes to the back to retrieve a different slab of meat, flee. And never return.
Otro Supplies
You’ll be able to find kitty litter SoB although the next person who says anything close to “Is it clumping?” within my range of hearing had better be wearing track spikes. Get a grip, people. A cat is gonna poop and pee in this stuff. Period. If you’re concerned about clumping capabilities you should probably stay a lot closer to your therapist.
You’ll have a choice of leashes, choke chains, whips, quirts, harnesses, muzzles, collars and other assorted goodies and they’re available in a variety of colors and materials. They also make the same types of products for your pets.
Chapter
16: Is That a Stethoscope in My Pocket or
Am I Just Glad to See You? Author's
Site
Stab Me or Oil Me Down
A lot of folks seem to believe that injections and the ingestion
of substances concocted by brilliant people with spotless lab coats
and questionable social skills will protect them from illnesses.
I personally believe that Alka-Seltzer, Pepto-Bismol, and an attractive
young witch waving chicken feathers through the smoke of a dried
goat scat fire and rubbing hog fat over my nude body will cure just
about anything I’m likely to catch. Except hepatitis, rabies,
and tetanus. And this really bad rash I’d rather not discuss.
Anyway, if you really want to get inoculated you can call the Centers
for Disease Control at their international travelers’
hotline at 1-888-232-3228. They’re also at http://www.cdc.gov.
They’ll tell you what you want to know. You can also call
them at 1-877-394-8747.
State Department Info for Alla Y’all
I really must refer you to this website even though you should be warned that if you followed their travel advice you’d never leave your bomb shelter, much less your hometown. But if you want to find out who sells travel insurance or who can load you in an airplane and haul your hurtin’ carcass out of the country, go to http://travel.state.gov//medical. Lots of insurance companies and medical evacuation services are listed there. My Canadian friends can take advantage of this information, too.
Does Your Health Insurance Cover You in Mexico?
First, check with your insurance carrier to see that your coverage is valid in Mexico. Some is, some ain’t. Medicare and Medicaid are in the “ain’t” category, as are many of your Canadian government-sponsored plans.
Next, inventory your medical needs. For instance, do you require supplementary oxygen on a regular basis? This will affect your choice of places to live because smaller towns may not be able to provide it.
What I’m gonna suggest again is that you go to the U.S. State Department website but this time look at the list of healthcare insurers and do some preliminary research about coverage before you ever leave Sioux Falls or Saskatoon. There are insurance carriers in sizeable Mexican towns where agents are available. I’m not going into specifics because this is a complex area and advice needs to conform to individual requirements. You’ll be able to get homeowners, renters, health, income protection, medical evacuation, and auto insurance with no real problems. You can easily protect yourself and your possessions. CASA Liberty is a full-service company with offices in most of the places we’re discussing. They have a bilingual staff and can be reached at 011-800-112-2222.
In Appendix 1 you’ll find publications and websites specific to certain areas. If you have an idea where you might want to move I strongly suggest that you order books and newspapers from that area. The ones I’ve listed will be in English. Newspapers and magazines display advertisements from doctors, dentists, clinics, hospitals, alternative health care practitioners, and pharmacies. All have phone numbers and some have e-dresses and websites.
Chapter 17: Habla Like the Locals Author's Site
If Arnold Can Habla, So Can You!
When trying to warn a National that he was about to step into a roadway hazard, a lady I know shouted, “Cariño, cariño” when she meant to say “cuidado”, look out! He froze anyway, either from fear or in anticipation of the delights to be enjoyed with the gringa who was calling him “darling, darling!”.
Luckily Mexicans treat us and our halting attempts to communicate much more magnanimously than we do them and theirs NoB. Everybody has a bucketful of stories about their fumbled attempts at language and will be pleased to bore you to thoughts of homicide given half a chance. But learning the language does more than save you from being the evening’s opening act on the plaza.
It’s Essential
You’re going to be a lot happier and thoroughly more independent SoB if you learn at least some Spanish. I hadn’t thought about it much until someone brought it up a few days ago. Until you become fairly fluent in the language you’re going to be in a state of constant frustration. You’ll develop a phobia about picking up the telephone to call anyone other than your gringo friends. Need a taxi at 4 a.m. for a trip to the airport? How about calling for services like gas deliveries or needing a doctor to come if Aunt Bullie collapses after the clinic closes? It’ll be hard to understand the basic terminology on your deeds, tax statements and bills. You’ll have difficulties telling the clerk or repairman precisely the item you want or need fixed. Perhaps the saddest thing will be your inability to develop meaningful relationships with the Spanish-speaking people around you and you’ll end up an isolated and bitter casualty in Paradise. It happens. You’re going to need your neighbors and you’ll soon discover that pointing and miming won’t cover all the things you’ll want to convey. Yes, it’s harder to learn another language when you’re older, but you’re going to be older anyway, so you might as well use your brain to assist you in your new life.
You can start lessons before you come. Many Community Colleges offer Continuing Education classes and with a little looking you might find a tutor for a reasonable price. One of the things I did was to purchase a set of language tapes. The method I chose is the Pimsleur Language Program put out by Simon & Shuster Audio. I bought the set of 30 tapes at Barnes & Noble several years ago for about $50 or $60 US.
Or, you can learn Spanish online for free. Check out Learn Spanish Online. Their website is http://www.studyspanish.com. The basic program is divided into three sections: Grammar, Vocabulary and Verbs. There are almost 160 lessons available on the free version, and you’ll need to enroll using your Yahoo or Hotmail account so you can continue your lessons after you move SoB. You’ll be given a code number to access your individual chart. In Appendix 1 I’ve listed a few more free programs you can check out.
Chapter 18: Gittin' Your Ashes Hauled: Guys, Gals, and Gays Author's Site
We’d driven over to Melaque to buy groceries and on the way out of town Ruben asked if I’d mind stopping by one of the local centro botaneros so he could see if a friend of his was working. Some centro botaneros, from what I can gather, are establishments that open in the afternoons to feed alcoholics, as well as provide a place for really poor voluptuous young girls to escape the midday sun.
I followed Ruben into the place and we selected a table and sat down. One of the poor, probably homeless young ladies immediately came to take our order. Pity filled my being as I surveyed her clothing, what there was of it. A skirt and a blouse, both sized too small to encase her amazingly supple and curvaceous honey-hued body. The apparent lack of any kind of undergarment only served to accentuate the incongruity of the shiny spike-heeled shoes she teetered about on. In spite of her apparent state of poverty, she nonetheless generously offered to bring food to our table. Embarrassed to eat in the presence of her impending starvation, I declined.
“It’s free”, Ruben boomed, “get something.” Oh hell, when in Rome. In just a few seconds steaming tacos and cervezas frias were delivered up by the young waif who was so weakened from hunger that she could barely navigate the rough, wood-planked floor on those high heels. I noticed that there were a number of sympathetic and generous souls at other tables who were freely.........
Guys
Down SoB it’s fairly easy to find a young agreeable señorita. If true love or any type of reasonable facsimile is on your shopping list, you shouldn’t have too much trouble connecting with someone, either gringo(a) or National, from the local community. Just be aware of one thing, guys. Mexican daddies and brothers will introduce you to the unpleasant world of barbaric and brutal beatings if they even suspect you’re trifling with the affections or delectables of their daughters or sisters. If you discover that you’ve been dallyin’ with a married Mexican woman just go ahead and hang yourself. Don’t even risk trying to get out of the country without bein’ caught. Pre-conquest Aztec abominations pale in comparison to some of these workouts. I’ve known a particularly sturdy individual or two who actually survived one of those encounters, and I always pray they won’t show up any place I’m trying to get a meal down.
I know some SoB gringas who meet guys on the Internet and induce them to come down and visit. There are dating services and bona fide escort services available, as well as houses of ill repute. Publications are out there with “Lonely Hearts” sections, too.
And there’s always those married friends who can’t stand to see a happy single person so they insist on introducing us to someone who will be “just perfect for you”. When the subject rears it’s ugly head I usually disconnect my phone, keep the lights turned off, and live on the huge store of canned goods and saltines I keep for just an emergency. It’s not safe out on the streets when one of ‘em gets in a match-makin’ mood. Sometimes it takes months for things to.........
Chapter 19: You're Not in Kansas Anymore Author's Site
Life on the Street
Since we’ve just discussed insurance and crime, here’s another regalo for you. You’re going to be amazed how quickly you relax and how quickly your worries and concerns about those two things lessen. Living in small-town Mexico is similar to small town America or Canada, of the late ‘40s and ‘50s. There is a tremendous amount of street activity in the evenings. Folks get out and visit with each other. They go to the plazas and to the cenadurias for their evening meal. There’s a sense of community, of belonging, of shared experiences, hopes, dreams and needs.
The Mexican people are warm, expansive, generous and accepting. There have been many times that I’ve sat down for my evening meal and was immediately taken into conversation by one of the strangers sitting nearby. Most of the time I had no in-depth understanding of our conversation because of my limitations with the language but I always knew I was accepted and welcome. At first that may seem strange to you because the idea of sitting down with strangers is no longer common NoB. In many of the small cenadurias, or dinner places, there will be few tables. You just look for a vacant chair, walk over and motion to it and ask, “¿Con permiso?”, with your permission.....
Appendix 3: Here’s Some Advice and a Few Resources for U.S. and Canadian Veterans Author's Site
Mexico can be a great option for those of you who are retired from active duty, on disability pensions or other types of benefits, surviving spouse payments, and burned out on the day-to-day existence you’re hackin’ through now. If you need a part-time job at a fast food palace or the local grocery store to supplement your meager pension, then a new life SoB might do you a world of good. I feel better physically and much more at peace psychologically and emotionally since I made my permanent move. You’re not going to live The Life of Riley on an income less than what’s required by the Mexican immigration law, but if you can meet their minimum requirement and learn to adapt to the ebb and flow of local life you’ll be a lot better off than in many places in the U.S. and Canada.
For those of you who have specific concerns about health and mobility, I’ll provide information about some of the more commonly asked questions. However, just as I stressed in the medical advice chapter, and everywhere else, check things out for yourself before you come down for good.
First, personal mobility. There are only a few cities that are relatively wheelchair friendly. Some municipalities have installed wheelchair ramps at street intersections, and there are good sidewalks and paved streets that can be navigated. I know several guys here who are wheelchair bound and who are able to access the plaza and a few essential places. There will be a great many stores, restaurants and government offices that will be impossible to enter without help, though. The up side is that domestic care is relatively inexpensive, and if you choose to hire live-in help, the living space you provide for them is considered to be half their salary. If you need to have grab rails or ramps installed, the cost will be a fraction of what you’d pay up NoB. They probably won’t be shiny chrome, but they’ll help you haul your ass wherever you intend for it to land.
In Chapter 16 I wrote about what you might expect in the way of special medical equipment. If you need specific information about an area and what services you can expect to find there, I suggest you contact the American Legion post in the area and direct your questions to the Post Service Officer. Ask for a referral to the Department Service Officer if the local SO can’t answer your questions. As you’re well aware, the people holding these positions change, so keep asking until you get the answers you need.
Head
for Mexico was edited by Teresa Kendrick, the author of a highly
respected guidebook to the Lake Chapala area of Mexico. Her years
of experience in living and working in Mexico add an invaluable
facet to this book. Bill Haslbauer is a retired Texan who, along
with wife Neva retired to Mexico and offered to share their experiences
with you. The definitive book on single women moving to Mexico was
written by Karen Blue and she shares with you some of her unique
insight into what all that entails. Mark Farley has spent years
teaching English in placement service. Mark has an extensive network
of people who provide information on an astounding variety of locations.
and finally, Judy King, who has years of experience in the business
world of Mexico and currently co-publishes with Blue, a newsletter
about life in Mexico, has provided a touch of her clear-eyed but
affectionate prose about her adopted country.
In addition, if you don't find the answers to your questions in Head for Mexico the author provides a website and email address so you can contact him personally. This is the only book to offer the readers exactly the information they need in order to make an informed decision about a possible move to Mexico and it may well be the funniest book you read this year.
Retirement Resources - COPYRIGHT 2005 - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED