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Mexican
Living: What Makes You Happy?
By Douglas Bower
Many
ask me this question: "Did moving to Mexico make you happier?"
My answer to that question is a resounding "no!" Does
that shock you? Does that concern you? Does that cause you to pause?
Do more questions come to mind?
Moving
to Mexico did not make me happy.
To
explain this I am going to have to get all Dr. Phil on you. If you
are from America, you know exactly who that is and what he is all
about. The man had an impact on my life I must confess. You should
read his books. They might have an impact on your life too.
If
you were an unhappy person living in America, you will more than
likely be an unhappy person living in Mexico. If you have lived
a life of reacting to circumstances with depression, rage, whining,
crying, complaining, stress, anger or whatever, chances are you
react the same way in Mexico. Moving here is not going to change
that.
Circumstances
or situations in our lives are nothing more than information. When
the dog pees on the carpet, when the teenaged son wrecks the car,
when the boss fires you, when you lose money in the stock market,
all that is in your life is information or a stimulus. How you react
to that information or stimulus is your choice.
Think
about this for a moment. There is nothing in the examples I mentioned
that has any power over you. These are just circumstances. They
are "things" that happened. They have no power to control
your feelings. The teenaged son wrecking the car is just a situation.
It isn't good but it is just a situation. This situation cannot
hold a gun to your head and say,
"Ok,
now I demand you feel rage and scream and hit your kid."
If
you do indeed react irresponsibly in that situation, it is because
it is something you chose. No one, nothing is making you do anything.
Do
you get this?
This
is a hard concept for the victim mentality of someone coming from
the American culture of victimization. It is what we have been led
to believe. Someone or something is always at fault for "making
us mad!"
How
many times have you said to someone,
"You
make me so mad!"
That
phrase and the ideology that undergirds it, is programmed into Americans'
thinking. It is as though we are on autopilot and say it without
thinking.
If
you have lived a life of rage, depression, anger, or whatever in
America; that, dear reader, is a good indicator about how you will
live in Mexico. Let me assure you there are going to be plenty of
circumstances or stimuli in Mexico to which you are going to be
tempted to react in the identical way you did to stimuli in America.
I
cannot overemphasize this enough. Mexico will not change you. All
it will do is provide you with a new set of circumstances, situations,
information, or stimuli to which you will react in the same way
you did in America.
If
you believe moving to Mexico will change you then you are in for
a big surprise and a heartbreaking disappointment.
If
you are of the mind-set that someone or something else is responsible
for your happiness, then you are not expatriation material so don't
waste your time and money. Now, let me turn on a light at the end
of the proverbial tunnel. I believe it is possible for someone to
change.
I
think one can learn to choose better behavior. If you've lived your
life with an anger control problem or whatever, then get some help
before expatriating to Mexico.
Trust
me when I say that Mexico has plenty of circumstances, situations,
information, or stimuli in life that she will throw your way.
Doug
Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing
credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle,
and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives
with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His new book, Mexican Living:
Blogging it from a Third World Country, can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241
